Speeding in the opposite direction of a one-way road.
F L O A T I N G.
Am I alive?
Mummy who wants her mommy.
Into what feels like a permanent state of panic, loss, depression, and confusion.
What is this galaxy of doom that I have created?
I don’t think I like it here. In fact...I hate it.
I try to hide and confide in the strength of he and she, but
he and she are often times just as messed up as me.
Then I realized....
The key to balancing my emotional and spiritual self was to throw a lifesaver at my drowning self.
It started with me getting a grip on the untamed thoughts I let wander around in my head. The untamed thoughts I kept taking to bed.
How could I stop this?
What was the way out?
I started by taking a look at what I was actually thinking about.
For me, this required a lot of meditation. I initially wanted to give up out of frustration and hesitation.
I kept at it and refused to give up- making yourself think about nothing is beyond tough.
I indulged in hobbies that allowed me to mentally escape and create.
I picked up yoga even though initially it made me feel like my body was going to break.
Once I got the hang of it, I further learned the true value of yoga. It further trained my brain to be present during times of discomfort. It taught me to breathe through it all, and to let any resistance I had be as is. I slowly began to see how much of my pain was out of false anticipation. Much of my pain came from self-doubt.
I established a recovery routine that fed my soul during times of need.
Most mornings I light incense, make my bed, stretch, meditate, and thank the universe for doing its thing.
All of this to say, emotional and spiritual balance requires you to first identify when you are sinking or getting off track.
Find what it takes to calm your soul, and remain diligent. Demand that from yourself, regardless of what the world is demanding from you.
There is no magic pill or solution that can fix that overnight, so not giving up is key.
Guarding your peace, soul, and mental being is a code blue emergency.
CPR initiation begins now.
Your inner light depends on it.
Written and lived by Lauren Wiley
November 13. 2019.
Lauren is one half of the spiritual movement, The Outsiders.
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